My latest book, Savage Shepherds, is the story of my bruising encounter with a 'heavy shepherding' church in the 1980's. When I finally decided to take my family out of the church, I was warned 'When you leave, they kill you.'
I was a hard-nosed, hard-drinking businessman before I was dramatically touched by the Holy Spirit. Immediately I left my life of alcohol, partying and adultery behind. I joined a Christian community and looked forward to a new start with my wife and young family. However, I was soon to encounter problems in this church that were far worse than any difficulties I had ever faced on the outside. Over the next few years I suffered abuse of a most cynical kind ― spiritual abuse.
Savage Shepherds tells my story of shocking experiences at the hands of a church that was part of Shepherding Movement of the late 1980s and early 1990s. Under this system, church members were controlled by a rigid hierarchy of leaders (the shepherds) who directed every aspect of our lives. Thinking for yourself was not only discouraged, it was seen as blasphemous. The structure of the church was so authoritarian that it controlled nearly every aspect of the lives of the ‘sheep’, with some sheep expected to tend their shepherd’s garden or cancel plans for an evening out to look after their shepherd's children.
But despite my misgivings I felt unable to leave, knowing that these men had been praying for me while I was lying in a drunken stupor or with someone else's wife. When I finally confronted the shepherds I was rebuked strongly and labelled a rebel, but eventually I was invited to join the inner-circle and become a shepherd myself
However, I announced my intention to leave and a concerted attempt began to coerce me to stay, that's when a friend gave me a stark warning: 'When you leave, they kill you.'
Savage Shepherds is not a negative, critical book. It includes advice for those who may be suffering spiritual abuse, and uncovers the tell-tale signs that may indicate abuse. Now I'm a Christian writer, broadcaster and editor of the www.faith4life.com web site. My story is a reminder that despite evil in the world, God’s love is extravagant, and can bring healing in even the most extreme of circumstances.
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14 comments:
Congratulations Adam on getting this blog site rolling. Have so enjoyed reading Savage Shepherds and know many others will too. We welcome any and every attempt to get this topic out in the open so that we pursue open and healthy debate as part of a process to eradicate this terrible blight on the Christian church
Barry Pendergast Calgary Canada
Thanks for having the courage to speak out against spiritual abuse. I was a member of an abusive church for about thirty years. I was finally ex-communicated and have been posting my story to warn others not to get involved with this church and others like it. My story and a church history is online now at Assembly of the Body of Christ History
Keep posting. The world needs to know that not all churches are full of God's love, some are, as you term, full of savage shepherds.
this looks like a great book! i read: "the subtle power of spiritual abuse" awhile back and it helped me a great deal... mine was not in my church, but in a Christian law firm i worked with... was a very painful experience...
also regarding savage shepherds see the demo on http://www.justinpeters.org. its incredible! justin speaks out on this very thing!
Thanks for this folks. It's encouraging. I find it sad when people finally manage to extricate themselves from abusive churches, and the first question they usually ask is, 'Where do I go instead?' My advice is, take a break, go to the Master, wait, otherwise you might bounce straight back into another. I don't go to church any more and there will be a series of articles on my website: (www.adamharbinson.com) soon that will explain why. To summarise, it is my belief that church as it is presently constituted is totally unbiblical and theologically unsustainable. Yes, God uses it, but didn't he once use a donkey when no one else was available?
Grace in abundance, and incidentally, you can view a 5 minute video clip promoting the book: http://homepage.mac.com/royzoner/iMovieTheater36.html
Adam,
A breathe of fresh air, not read the book yet, but will do so soon. Have been an sinner outcast from the church, now for over 8 years. Almost giving up hope on finding anyone of like mindedness.I live by the Grace of God, but have a deep frustration, seeing how ineffectual the church has become. I thoroughly enjoyed your blog about Nietzsche. I relish the thought of reading more of your insight and observations, which have brought light to an hour of darkness and yes it is literally, 4:30 am. Blessings,
Michael Sun
Michael glad you added your comment - we have found reading Savage Shepherds a highlight in our path to recovery. So important to know you are not alone in this need to rid the church of this terrible blight of abuse. There is so much to be encouraged about! Love to know more about your story. We have found telling our story out in the open one of the best ways to start healing and get back to a belief in a loving God.
Hi Michael,
Thanks for your comments and honesty. Do you know, the thing that changed my life forever was the day I realised for the first time that the people who orchestrated the crucifixion of Jesus weren't cruel Roman soldiers, nor was it a band of brigands it was the religious leaders of his day! And what's more, when you think how radical was his message it really is quite a miracle that he lasted 33 years! Their status, their very identity was based of the observance of the law, they even had it printed out and squeezed into little boxes; phylacteries, that were tied to their foreheads and their left arm. And what did Jesus say? 'I give you a new commandment, love each other.' Whao!
And then there was the 'Abba' thing. To the Jews, God's name was so holy they wouldn't say it. I was in Israel a few years ago and was profoundly touched when I heard the little Jewish children shouting at their dads; 'Abba! Abba!' - it means daddy. And Jesus said, 'When you pray, say, 'Our Abba.'
You and I do not need religious, we need fellowship, and in my experience you rarely get that in church. Fellowship is fun, it's laughing together, crying together, it's enjoying the company of those you love. Do it Michael, and to those who say, 'You need teaching, read John 16:13 and then Matthew 23:10 - radical stuff.
Keep in touch.
http://postedat.wordpress.com/2010/02/11/i-am-a-slave-to-no-man/
Highly recommend a new book by a friend in Vancouver - Spiritual Abuse Recovery - details at http://www.churchexiters.com/
Thank you so much for taking the time to pen "Savage Shepherds". It was very therapeutic for me to read about someone else's experience in a "Shepherding Movement" chult (church/cult). Have you read any of the Milgram or Stanford Prison studies on authority abuse? I would highly recommend. They are very thought provoking.....for one that has knowledge of the scriptures, it makes me think of Lucifer in Genesis before the Fall.....and with all the "falls from grace" by well recognized pastors/ministers in the last decade, it makes one wonder about the current structure of the modern day church. Maybe that hierarchical pyramid that is currently in place was supposed to be transposed....I think if nothing else, the abuses that were so rampant with the "Shepherding Movement" is proof of this. My 2 cents. :)
Here is a link to an illustration online about the studies (you can purchase books about them, too) -- http://www.eruptingmind.com/using-authority-persuasion/
Hi Adam,
I really appreciated reading "Savage Shepherds" because it speaks so clearly about the impact of the Shepherding Movement on those congregations which came under its influence in the 80s and 90s and who are still enslaved by it.
I am writing from Australia, where there is a network of "Christian Fellowship" congregations spread around Queensland, New South Wales, Victoria, South Australia and Western Australia which are under the collective title "Restoration Fellowships International (Australia)" These congregations are ruled by the structure and practices of the "Shepherding Movement" and what you have described in "Savage Shepherds" is very much alive and well in these 25 congregations. Your book could just as easily have been written here about this group, and in fact a book exposing the reality of life in these "Christian Fellowships" was published in 2010 by a writer called Morag Zwartz with the title "Apostles of Fear --- a church cult exposed" (See --- http://www.koorong.com/search/product/apostles-of-fear-a-church-cult-exposed-morag/9780958795524.jhtml#descriptions)
The cult is led from Brisbane by its cult leader Victor John Hall who is the Senior Minister of Brisbane Christian Fellowship, and is also the self-proclaimed "Aggelos" (Messenger) of what he now calls "The Lampstand Church" as well as also being the self-proclaimed "Apostle to Australasia and the Pacific".
The destructive nature of this network of "Christian Fellowships" and Victor Hall's leadership of it was exposed by the Australian Broadcasting Commission by its Flagship investigative journalism program "Four Corners" in a documentary called "God of the Broken Hearts" in June 2008. (See: --- http://www.abc.net.au/4corners/special_eds/20080623/bcf/default.htm). The documentary shows quite clearly the same sort of treatment of people by the "shepherds", referred to as "messengers" in the Christian Fellowships as you have written about in "Savage Shepherds".
I am involved in an on-line forum called Streetcar which was set up by survivors of Brisbane Christian Fellowship and the other CFs (see... http://streetcar.forumup.com.au/index.php?mforum=streetcar), but I am not a survivor of the CFs, but a person with many people "inside" who I know and love and hate to see being so ruthlessly exploited and deprived of their liberty in Christ.
After reading your book and this blog it seems to me that there is the potential to set up a similar on-line place of safety for Shepherding survivors in the UK and Ireland.
On Streetcar I am known as "Boundary Rider" and have had to use that name to protect those still inside the CFs whom I know and love. It is well known that I stand in total opposition to Victor John Hall and his cult, so that if my identity became known, those people I seek to support and protect will be exposed to the same vicious "shepherding'" which you experienced.
Again, many thanks for what you have so clearly written.
Boundary Rider
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It's not when you leave that they kill you, they kill you when you're there under their thumb, and it'd be far better to have your throat slit by one of them than have them go to work on your soul and turn the image of a God who loves you upside down.
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